When people start to have relationship problems they tend to make things much more difficult than they need to be. It's not really that hard to identify the problem and work together to fix it...as long as you are working together. This is a common problem, one partner won't commit to make the changes needed to make the relationship better.
No matter how hard it may be to hear, if that is the case in your relationship than you have no choice but to end it...unless you are willing to stay in a bad relationship. It will take both of you working together to make things better and if one partner is unwilling to work at it, nothing will change.
If the two of you are wiling to try to make things better, together, than here is a list of some tips that may help you out:
1. One of the most important elements in any good relationship is the ability to communicate well. That doesn't mean that you know how to talk, it means that you know the best way to get your point across without being mean and spiteful. It's not just about what you say but how you say it. It's also about how well you listen. Are you really hearing what the other person is trying to say, or are you just hearing the words without looking deeper to the true meaning?
Most of us aren't poets, and sometimes things don't come out the right way. Being a good listener means not jumping down your partners throat when they say something wrong, it means trying to understand their point of view and realizing that even though you may not agree with them that they have the right to feel the way they feel and they want your understanding. Don't forget, some day the shoe will be on the other foot, and you'll want to try to explain how you're feeling to your partner, you'll want them to listen to you, right?
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2. Don't hold your partner up to a higher standard than you hold yourself to. For example, if you don't want your partner to go out clubbing with their friends, you shouldn't either. If you want your partner to be a better housekeeper, you should pitch in and help. So many of us are great at telling our partners what they are doing wrong, but we aren't nearly as good at honestly facing up to our own shortcomings. Maybe if you spent a little more time making sure you were being the best person you could be, you wouldn't get so frustrated with the failings of your partner.
3. Be realistic as to whether or not you should continue the relationship. Many of us hang on way too long to a bad relationship, and we do it for all the wrong reasons such as fear of loneliness or jealousy over our ex meeting someone else. Relationships are important, and you shouldn't just run for the door whenever there is a problem, but it's also important to recognize that sometimes it's just not working and it never will, and it's time to leave.
Having a wonderful, loving relationship is one of life's greatest pleasures, but when you start to have relationship problems it can make you feel more miserable than you ever thought possible. Use these tips to get, or keep, your relationship going strong.
God Bless,
Larry
http://www.squidoo.com/tailgateministries
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